Outdoors with Don Q: Memories from an unforgettable six week adventure

Bob and Lorraine (my cousin) Scholes of Dayton plus Elaine and I just returned from a six week vacation trip to Italy, Sicily and Switzerland. It was the Scholes’ second trip to Italy and our first-ever trip.
Lorraine’s father was born in Ponte Buggianese and my Dad was born in Lucca, and we both wanted to visit where our roots began.
We left on August 30, flew from Reno to Denver to Montreal to Rome and then returned from Rome to Zurich to San Francisco to Reno on October 12. Here are a bunch of our memories:

The American Dollar and the European Euro:
Prior to going we had talked to a number of people who live in our general area and who had recently visited Italy. To a person, they told us, “Take money, take money, take lots of money.” And, boy oh boy, were they ever right. Our American dollar (USD) was absolutely pitiful on the world market. The ratio of the Euro to our dollar was 1 Euro to roughly $1.50 USD. Plus everything is so much more expensive and different in Italy.

Here are some examples of our costs in USD:
— Each plastic grocery bag in the super market: $.07 per bag.
— Public parking for a vehicle: $1.50 to $3.00 an hour.
— Public restrooms: $.75 to $2.25 per person per visit.
— Seating fee to sit at a table for lunch or dinner: $3.00 to $6.00 per person.
— Wash and dry a load of clothes at the Laundromat: $12.00.
— One hour on the Internet: $1.50 to $4.50 (if you can get on!).
— Bottles of water: $1.50 to $4.50 (They do not serve water with meals).
— A bottle of Sprite or a bottle of Coke: $4.50.
— A glass of house red wine: $7.50 to $15.00.
— A Jack Daniels whiskey on the rocks: $9.75.
— A Gin and Tonic: $13.75.
— A Pinini (ham and cheese) sandwich: $6.00 to $12.00.
— A club house sandwich: $40.00.
— Meals are ala carte except for a small basket of hard rolls (one per person).
— Mixed salads: $7.50 to $15.00.
— Spaghetti with meat sauce: $12.00 to $18.00.
— Linguini with mussels or clams: $15.00 to $18.00.
— A fourth of a very small roast chicken: $10.00.
— Ice cream cones with one scoop: $3.50 to $6.00.
— Chocolate candy bars: $1.50 to $4.50 per bar.
— A box of cough drops: $7.80 (They are kept behind the pharmacy counter).
— Lobster on one menu: $120.00 (which we did not order!).
— A gold Rolex watch in a jewelry store display window: $50,000.00.

Money:
Elaine and I had taken a Wells Fargo travel card (as recommended by Wells Fargo) to use when needed for various charges and cash withdrawals. The card worked fine for hotel rooms, to ship souvenirs home, etc.
When we tried to use it for cash withdrawals at five different banks in three different cities and it would not work.
We sent an urgent Email to two different employees of the Carson City branch of Wells Fargo Bank explaining our problem with cash withdrawal, and they never received it.
Thank God for our Bank of America debit cards that worked perfectly every time we needed cash or we would have been in a whole world of hurt.

Weather:
It was hot and humid, day and night, and by the end of each day, our clothes were soaking wet from sweat.
On the two occasions when it rained, it was like an Asian monsoon storm with high winds and torrential downpours.
While we were in Palermo it rained so hard that the first floor of our hotel was flooded with several inches of water which required a small army of hotel employees to get rid of all that water with push brooms and mops.

People:
There were hordes and hordes and hordes of people everywhere we went.
They were Italian, French, German, English, Canadian, Australian, Flemish, Swiss, etc. with only an occasional American. The Italians where fascinating. They talked very loud and very fast with all kinds of hand gestures, even when talking on their ever-present cell phones.
And almost to a person, young and old Italians were smoking cigarettes.
Wherever we went, people were rude: Pushing, shoving and cutting in front of you in lines at train stations, bus depots, tour buses, ferries, etc., until we finally learned to also be rude and to shove and push just like them.

Traffic:
You have to be suicidal to drive in Italy!
Every major street in every city is jammed packed with small cars, “Smart” cars, city buses, tour buses, big trucks, little trucks, motorcycles, motor bikes, mopeds and bicycles, all honking and cutting in and out of traffic.
Obeying the speed limit and staying in your own lane is only for the timid!
They park, double park and triple park wherever and whenever the mood seems to strike them. And when parked, they pull in their rear view mirrors to protect them from the heavy traffic zipping pass just millimeters away. Many of the cars that I saw parked in the big cities had scratches and dings on their left front and right front fenders and on their left rear and right rear fenders from the “Bumper Car” type of Italian city driving.

The Amalfi Coast:
A Disneyland-type, motor vehicle adventure on a very narrow, winding and steep highway that runs along the coast between Sorrento and Salerno.
We had been advised not to drive our rental car on the Amalfi Coast and no truer words were ever spoken.
On many different occasions, our tour bus met other buses or trucks on a sharp corner, and both vehicles would have to jockey back and forth to allow each other to pass, all the time being harassed by honking and impatient drivers stacking up behind them! It was fascinating and absolutely insane!

The history of ancient Italy:
The churches, buildings, statues, temples, homes, streets, cities, castles, artwork, tapestries, etc. are memorable and unforgettable when you realize that many of them date back to hundreds of years before the birth of Christ.

Street vendors and beggars:
They are everywhere and constantly bugging you.
The vendors are pedaling every possible thing that you can imagine and the beggars range from very young girls to very old men and women.

Graffiti:
There is graffiti everywhere on walls, doors, windows, signposts, garbage cans, billboards, directional signs, buses, large trucks, railroad cars, etc.
Apparently, like here in the U.S., their idiots also seem to find some kind of personal satisfaction in defacing someone else’s property.

Trash:
In the larger cities, there are mind-boggling amounts of trash strewn on sidewalks, gutters, streets, next to roadways, on lawns, in yards, et al. Street sweeping, litter pick up and Adopt-A-Highway apparently are something that we only practice in the United States. Rome, Naples and most cities in Sicily were particularly bad for litter.

The Italian countryside, especially in Tuscany and Northern Italy:
Tuscany is spectacular as you round every corner, and you see vast corn fields, large groves of olive trees, endless grape vineyards, many different vegetable fields, fruit tree orchards, very old buildings, etc. In Northern Italy, the Dolomite Mountains are awe inspiring. On almost every hilltop, there is usually an ancient castle.

Fascinating customs:
In Italy, almost all of the shops, stores, markets, gas stations, etc. close on Sundays, and they also close each day from about 12 noon to about 4 p.m. In addition, dinners in restaurants usually begin at 8:00-8:30 p.m.

European measurements:
In Europe they use the metric system, so you have to be thinking in terms of kilometers, meters and centigrade. It makes life interesting. For example, on one occasion, when we filled our Peugeot rental car with diesel, it cost 60.10 Euro for 40.1 liters of fuel. Try to figure that out.

Public transit:
Printed schedules are non-existent and you need to read Italian on sign posts or posters for train, city bus, tour bus and tram car schedules. Arrivals and departures are based on actual arrivals and departures rather than on any kind of a regular schedule and they can vary from day to day.

Cortina:
My personal favorite of all the places we visited in those six weeks. It is located in Northern Italy, and was the site of the 1956 Winter Olympics, the surrounding scenery is breathtaking, and homes, hotels, stores, shops, etc. are unforgettable with their Swiss-type décor. The day we drove to Cortina, it received its first snowfall of the season!

An unforgettable and enjoyable experience:
We took a sightseeing “fun tour” tram ride in Sorrento. The driver played music, the passengers sang to the music (“That’s Amore,” “Volare,” etc.), and we waved and shouted to the people on the streets who waved back as we traveled along the city streets. It was a blast! Our fabulous three hour dinner (7:30 to 10:30 p.m.) dinner in Lugano: It was at an out of the way restaurant, run by a family, that is only frequented by locals and our dinner consisted of the following:

— Drinks: Red wine, white wine, grappa, water and coffee.
— Appetizers: Italian bread, antipasto with sliced Proscuitto, salami and Mortadella, sliced tomatoes with roasted eggplant and red and yellow peppers, spinach and Ceci beans.
— Main courses: Pasta with Porcini mushrooms, fried rabbit with an awesome sauce, veal rolls, roast beef au jus and roasted potatoes.
— Dessert: Torta with icy Limoncella drinks in shot glasses.

Venice:
A city to be visited only once in your lifetime.
The Good: Its water ways, canals, gondolas, water buses with their very efficient and frequent schedules, the ancient buildings and churches.
The Bad: The prices for everything are sky high and out of this world.
The Ugly: The tourists clogging streets, water buses, cafes, stores, etc.
When we were in Venice, there were eight giant cruise ships in the harbor and all of their tens of thousands of passengers were sightseeing, taking photographs, shopping and riding gondolas and water buses. It was crazy!

Our Swiss Air flight home from Rome:
We left Rome and flew to Zurich via the spectacular Swiss Alps.
When we left Zurich for San Francisco, we flew over Switzerland, France, the English Channel, England, Scotland, the North Sea, Iceland, the North Atlantic Ocean, Greenland, Baffin Bay, Hudson Bay and Canada. Our plane was at an elevation of 35,000 feet, it was traveling at a speed of 540 MPH, the outside temperature was -70 degrees and the flight lasted 12 hours.

Miscellaneous memories:
— The heavy traffic, crazy drivers and traffic jams in all of the larger cities.
— The constant haze or smog everywhere that makes long distance photography impossible. It is from vehicles, wood fires, factories, etc.
— Mt. Etna belching towering clouds of white smoke.
— The fabulous ocean sunsets while dining at an outdoor café in Sorrento.
— A giant grocery store in a shopping mall at Montecatini, where they had things like zucchini blossoms, fresh sardines and frozen octopus for sale.
— The Wi-Fi café in Montecatini, which was also a bookie joint. It had a large and very loud TV screen constantly showing European soccer games.
— The many ruins of houses, stores, temples, buildings, etc. in Pompeii, and the casts of people killed by the Mt. Vesuvius eruption in 79 AD.
— The many Italian women who wear eye-popping and skimpy clothing that just barely covered their bodies, and who are usually well endowed!
— The noisy street sweeper machine that drove by and woke us up every morning, right on the dot at 5:00, in Sorrento.
— The tiny bathrooms and even tinier showers in the hotels. It was difficult to turn around and almost impossible to bend down in one of those showers.
— Stopping on many occasions in many different cities to buy gelatos (ice cream), while we were sightseeing. My favorites were lemon or chocolate.
— The Italian armed guard, who did not speak English and who would not let us take photos or enter the American Embassy in Rome.
— Being advised to watch out for pickpockets, especially in Palermo.
— The wedding reception held at the villa where we were staying, and listening to the band play American music for the 180 Italian attendees.
The bride and groom left for a honeymoon in Southern California.
— The large cupboard in our apartment at the villa, which when opened was actually a kitchen complete with a small sink, stove and refrigerator.
— The huge crowds of tourists at the Leaning Tower of Pisa, who were having their photos taken on an angle, as if they were holding it up.
— The thousands of highway tunnels, street roundabouts, semi trucks and trailers on the highways, ancient churches (every town has at least one), the tiny towns that seemed endless as we drove around Italy, and the very old forts or castles on virtually every high hill or mountain top.

Finally:
Would I return again to Italy?
Yes, I would return but with some major changes next time:
I would wait until the American dollar is more equal to the Euro.
I would not return to Sicily, it is too dirty and there are too many people.
I would not ride a car ferry, they are too expensive and way too crowded.
I would avoid all major cities as traffic is horrendous, streets are filthy, there is graffiti everywhere and those cities are jam-packed with countless people.
I would return to Northern Italy, Lake Lugano, Lake Como, plus Cortina in the Dolomite Mountains and Zurich in the Swiss Alps.
I would totally enjoy shopping again in that giant grocery store in the shopping mall in Montecatini.

Bet Your Favorite Pigeon
Bet your favorite pigeon that he can’t tell you about one of our funniest experiences on that six week vacation.
If he grins and says, “It was the day that the four of us were walking down a city street in Sorrento and an elderly woman walked up to Bob and babbled something to him in Italian,” I might have told him about this incident.
Bob did not understand what she had said, so he turned to me and asked, “What did she say?”
I didn’t understand either, but I grinned and lying like a sly fox I told him that she said he was ugly.
Everyone broke out laughing, including the old woman, and I had Elaine take a photo of her and I to remind us of that occasion.

— Writer Don Quilici is the Outdoors editor for Carson Now. He can be reached at donquilici@hotmail.com