Opinion

On the 30th of November I will be celebrating Mark Twain’s 187 birthday by observing some of the secrets to his longevity, a few of which we can share here.

Back in July Vladimir Putin quoted and credited Mark Twain. At the time, I suspected he was reaching out, maybe not with an olive branch, but maybe with a twig. He said, “To quote Mark Twain, ‘The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.’” I was wrong.

I have a good friend whose wife puts a jar out whenever I visit, and makes us deposit a dollar into that jar every time we use a profane word to color our conversation. So I always stock up on dollar bills before visiting.

Back in my twentieth year, I don’t suppose I ever gazed at anything for longer than two seconds at a time, unless it might be a lady. Nowadays, sunlight dancing on the surface of the lake can suspend me in awe for several minutes at a time.

It’s been said countless times that elections are important, but this November it’s imperative that you vote to save our country.

These past two years have seen America go from greatness, with high employment numbers, low gas and grocery prices, secure borders, no wars, a strong military, no dependence on foreign oil, tremendous growth in domestic manufacturing, and a thriving stock market with everyone’s retirement investments doing well.

The warring instinct is man’s worst impulse. We eat, drink, and copulate with discrimination, then make war with impunity. There’s a breed of ants that acts out in the same way, and because of their predatory foraging, they are appropriately called, “Army Ants.”

Generosity will soon become coin of the realm in the saving of our planet, and it will come in the prototype of Patagonia founder Yvon Chouinard, who recently announced he and his family are giving away their $3 billion outdoor-apparel company to fight climate change. Oh, and to make this magnanimous contribution to our society, Chouinard will also pay $17 million in taxes.

A good friend drove an hour to have lunch with me in my kitchen. I can’t speak for him, but I’ve been in a good mood since. There are some health-giving qualities about one-on-one conversations that elevate them to the realm of tonics. Think back to how fun it was to talk to a friend as a child with two cans and a string.

Why am I so in love with the 19th century? I get asked that a lot. And the answer is so simple. I’m in love with the 19th century because the 19th century was pretty much eye-to-eye, and there’s nothing like looking into a person’s eye to gauge the veracity of a person’s word.

Benevolent as Queen Elizabeth was as a monarch, she could have been even more useful, and eminently more noble if she had been a schoolteacher. Unfortunately, for every Queen Elizabeth there is a Henry VIII in the closet.

Lucretia Fudge was the Wailuku Librarian, and I ask you, what better name could a librarian possibly have? She was, as are all good librarians, rather stern.

It was only a photograph, yet it pulled on my heart strings. It was a photo of soccer fans celebrating a win by dancing gleefully in a London street fountain, a scene of unbridled merriment to make any heart sing. Glancing at that picture for five seconds put five days on my already long life.

In his 1870 essay, “The Curious Republic of Gondour,” our mutual friend, Mark Twain, recommends a unique advancement to our present system of democratic suffrage. Twain actually expands upon the voting procedure we will be working with this November, a system that is propped-up on vast numbers of the undereducated to vote, and vast numbers the ultra-wealthy to donate.

Wait!!! Yes, Markleeville and area is beautiful, yes they have great people, yes the fishing around there is fantastic and yes it is a fantastic place to visit, fish, hike and explore and yes there is a great barbecue place there and great little market and stores...but truly you don't wanna go there!!!! It's MINE!!!! Been going there for over 30 years and I don't want you all to ruin it!!!! Well, if you go there you won't ruin it, but you might catch a fish of mine or two. Okay, then, go and enjoy! And take the kids.

Bill Karr,
Placerville

This lucky boy was at Piper’s Opera House last night, lucky to be alive and onstage to present, ‘An Evening with Mark Twain,’ where, as a benefit for the Comstock Foundation, I was able to close a long loop with a flood of memories.

In response to a letter to the editor that appeared in the June 25th edition of the Nevada Appeal regarding the meaning of the Second Amendment, I would like to refer the author to The Federalist Papers where much of the intent of the men who framed the provisions of the Constitution can be found.

Those hoping to preserve a livable world for ourselves, our children and our grandchildren can find much to celebrate in the climate provisions of the Inflation Reduction Act recently passed in the U.S. Senate. The bill, now awaiting passage in the House, contains a huge investment — $369 billion — in low-carbon technologies and is expected to reduce greenhouse gas emissions 40% below 2005 levels by 2030.

At last, and finally, this summer, the International Olympic Committee reinstated my hero, Jim Thorpe, as the gold medal winner of the pentathlon and decathlon at the 1912 Stockholm Olympics. Thorpe was the first Native American to win a gold medal for the United States. After winning both events by wide margins, he was hailed by King Gustav V of Sweden as, “the greatest athlete in the world,” to wit, Jim responded, “Thanks King.”

A recent letter campaign done by the inmates of SDCC's AdSeg unit describe the deplorable conditions they are living in along with claims of seven AR violations. I am an inmate advocate and have been asked to share this letter with the media. I ask you not share my personal information. Below is a link to a blog post with a copy of said letter.

On a pleasant summer afternoon we gathered together at the Jones Mansion in Gold Hill to celebrate a Nevada life well lived, extremely well lived. Several of us stood patiently in line to articulate our encomiums.

Nevada has lost a favorite son, and the world has lost a sage. David Toll was the SS Tahoe, the V&T Railroad, and the CC Mint, incarnate.

A good friend of mine, and talented Chautauquan, Kim Harris, writes for Western History Alive. Kim recently penned an excellent piece about a Mongolian mare that touched my heart. So I asked Kim if I could work, “Sgt. Reckless” into a Pine Nuts column, and she gave me her blessings.

Of the 4,000 times I have had the pleasure of pretending to be Mark Twain, each is worth remembering, and a few are worth writing down for the grandkids. Then every once in a while, my memory is jogged to bring forth an evening that I had not thought about since the night it happened, several years ago now.

The Carson City Planning Commission has delayed action on a request by Qualcan, a cannabis company based in Las Vegas, to open an additional retail marijuana outlet in Carson City. To the Commission’s credit, the matter was tabled in anticipation that a delay might encourage additional public input. The matter will be reconsidered at the Commission’s July 27th meeting. For those of us who fought vigorously against the licensing of any recreational marijuana outlets, the very fact that this matter is back before the Commission is disheartening.

The semi-humorous column I had ready to file on the 4th of July went into the trash when news of the parade shooting arrived. All I could think about was assault weapons that allow killers to effortlessly commit mass homicide. What has happened to us, that we can let this continue to occur and then say, “Let’s move on,” as one legislator said only hours after the July 4th massacre.

Mark Twain tells us, "A discriminating irreverence is the protector of human liberty." Drawn not from the warrior's quiver, Twain's irreverence is drawn from the artist's pallet. "Laughter, without a thread of philosophy woven into it, is but a sneeze at humor, genuine humor is replete with wisdom. And if a piece of humor is to last, it must do two things, it must preach and it must teach. If done effectively, that piece of humor will last forever, which is thirty years."

Michigan is about to become the 14th state to mandate a high school personal finance course, congratulations. I only wish we had a personal finance class when I was in high school. Left to my own devices, well, I poured every dollar I made lifeguarding into my ’55 Chevy, even to the point of driving to Mexico to have the seats tucked-rolled & pleated in Naugahyde. It cost a fortune, but oh, did it look boss!

To begin, I sometimes speak up when a little voice deep down inside is shouting, “Don’t do it!” That happened at the VA last month when they were telling me when to return to have my stitches out. I told them I had a semester of pre-med and could take out my own stitches. I heard a janitor in the back of the room laugh, but a capable nurse handed me a bundle of tools, placed her caring hand on my shoulder, and sent me home.

Congress approves bill to make Juneteenth a federal holiday on June 17, 2021 commemorating the end of slavery. The House voted 415-14, and signed by President Joe Biden to make Juneteenth, or June 19th, the 12th federal holiday.

Better minds than mine have examined this issue, yet sometimes it proves helpful for a regular Mae, or in this case a regular Mac, to look with fresh eyes at a thorny issue and report her or his findings. So let us take a look at the Second Amendment.

The first noticeably happy people to attract my undivided attention were San Diego roller-bladers, skating down the boardwalk with music in their ears. This was 40 years ago or so, and these dancing athletes were clearly happy to the core. It made me smile and even laugh in the wake of their sheer joy.