Pine Nuts with McAvoy Layne: What to do
I’ve been contemplating possible new ventures to tackle when I retire, small businesses that do not require driving or flying, and I’d like to share them with you here.
First, is the possibility of opening a Mark Twain Bookstore here in the village. I remember falling in love with Ashland, Oregon because Ashland had three thriving bookstores, and I like people who visit bookstores. People who visit bookstores are easy to talk to, and I always learn something from them. Also, I’ve found that people who visit bookstores like to be among books, so, I ask you, might they also enjoy visiting with a retired impressionist of Mark Twain?
Given enough time with a customer, I might even be able to sell a book of mine about the future of Chautauqua, that is due out any day now, Living Twice. I could sign that book, and once we are old friends, inscribe something amusing in that book.
I might even like to have other things on sale besides Twain books, like Twain socks that are always fashionable, and wine glasses that boast, “I Drank with The Ghost of Mark Twain.” There is no limit to the number of Twain things I could have for sale. If you could see my living room here at Twain Haven, you would see what I mean. My only fear is that I would inevitably get caught up in an interesting conversation and fail to close the sale.
So okay, here’s another idea, and with this one, I would not even need to leave home:
SEND A SALUTATION FROM THE GHOST OF MARK TWAIN!
Yes, you could send a friend a cordial audio salutation from yourself and the Ghost of Twain. The greeting would have to be in good taste, and no more than 30 seconds in length. Of course you could write your own greeting, and include a photo, or not.
— For more than 30 years, in over 4,000 performances, columnist and Chautauquan McAvoy Layne has been dedicated to preserving the wit and wisdom of “The Wild Humorist of the Pacific Slope,” Mark Twain. As Layne puts it: “It’s like being a Monday through Friday preacher, whose sermon, though not reverently pious, is fervently American."
Go here to listen to this and other McAvoy Layne columns.