Remembering the fallen, and moving on
Submitted by admin on Sun, 12/18/2011 - 11:22am
Echos of gunshots from Eduardo Sencion had barely subsided when the chatter began that the Carson City IHOP would never open again, forever tarnished by a gunman's murderous rampage.
But this week the IHOP did reopen, with the governor, mayor and sheriff in attendance to reassure residents that we will not let the acts of a madman control our lives, that we can put this tragic episode behind us.
Some are not happy about this. No one will fault those who survived the shooting — or had connections to the dead and wounded — if they never set foot in a place that brings back painful memories.
Even so, we must move on.
People grieve in different ways. I'm reminded of this when I see the decals on car windows in memory of one's lost family member or friend. I can't blame them for wanting to broadcast their loss, though it's not the way I want remember the passing of those close to me.
It does seem as though expressions of loss and grief keep growing more public in recent years. I can't imagine people putting those stickers on cars 20 years ago. Does that mean we have changed as a society, or is it simply a matter of technology making it easier to create these stickers?
Then there are the roadside crosses. These memorials have a long history in Hispanic culture, and have proliferated as this culture spreads across the country. Most of these are innocuous enough to cause few problems, and sometimes they serve as warnings to motorists to be careful in certain areas.
A few years ago a controversy was spawned by the erection of a giant cross on Highway 50 near the spot where the dead body of Krystal Steadman was dumped after the nine-year-old girl was murdered in 2000. Family and friends wanted to remember the little girl, while others objected to having a permanent memorial erected on public land.
It's hard to fault those who seek to remember lost loved ones. On the other hand, it seems more appropriate to celebrate their lives, and not just memorialize their deaths.
Would those who died in the IHOP shooting want to be remembered for the families they raised, their service to their country, and their impact on the world? Or, would they prefer to be memorialized for that split second of time when chance and bullets collided?
Once again, pancakes are being flipped, eggs are being scrambled and coffee poured at the Carson City IHOP. There is little chance any of us will forget this senseless tragedy. It's good to see that we are not allowing one disturbed individual to rule our future.
Life goes on.
