By Diane Dye Hansen

Remember when you were a kid and your parents played “peek-a-boo” with you? The reason why it was so much fun is quite interesting. You see, to a child, the face ceases to exist when it’s not seen. This concept is called object permanence.

Kids, developmentally, can’t grasp the concept that even though the face is out of view, it is still there. Unfortunately, we can’t play “peek-a-boo” with people, problems, and uncomfortable situations that enter our lives. Even if we walk away or cover it up, it’s still there until we face it.

Fortunately for us, 50 percent of the problem may be in our heads. Call it the “monkey mind,” “the witches in the attic,” or just that voice that nags you in your head, the chatter can do more to cause anxiety and create a feeling that avoidance is necessary than anything.

If you are facing an issue, the best thing you can do is face it. If you have to cool down before you do so, by all means take the time you need to approach the task with a level head. However, once you have your wits about you, the following steps might help you.

Step 1: Get what the problem is down on paper. Sometimes putting it in black and white brings a reality and clarity to the issue that thinking about it just won’t bring.

Step 2: Write down a few sentences to start the conversation and that’s it. It’s so tempting to try to figure out how a conversation will go. That’s what causes anxiety. Just plan how you will start and let the conversation flow. You might be surprised.

Step 3: Release the outcome. You are not a mind-reader and you can’t tell the future. Otherwise, you would be rich from your 100 percent accurate sports picks. So let go of the outcome. Before you enter the conversation, breathe out and say “whatever will be, will be.” Then go in with an open and honest heart.

Now, not everything we avoid requires a conversation. You might be avoiding paying a bill. The best bet here is just to get started. Yes, sometimes you will have to pick up the phone and call your creditor. But, other times, you can take action, pick up a side project or do something else that will lead to the debt being paid. Ultimately, if you will miss your due date, a conversation with the creditor is the best path. Some companies can defer your payment or you may be surprised to discover, if it’s a credit card, that you are enrolled in credit protection.

Sticking your head in the sand, or disappearing, never works. Ultimately, this behavior hurts feelings, delays important conversation, and makes matters far worse than they would have been.
Have you ever avoided something until it got bigger than it was originally, do you need to speak to someone right now to clear the air? If I can help, let me know. The floor is yours, Carson City.

ABOUT DIANE HANSEN
Diane Hansen is the Chief Inspiration Officer of What Works Coaching, a coaching firm that has helped people worldwide with their businesses, careers, mindsets, and profit margins. She brings to Carson City more than 17 years of experience with a wide array of clients, ranging from top corporations, motivated entrepreneurs and individuals hungry for a fresh start. Her column appears every Monday.