By Diane Dye Hansen
You have heard the phrase, “don’t judge a book by its cover.” I’d like to submit another phrase for you to consider, “don’t act without the facts.” You have heard me talk about the monkey mind, the witches in the attic, and other names for the nagging that goes on in your head. Now, I want to talk about something else, your inner cliff jumper.
Your inner cliff jumper creates catastrophes, gets worked up over bits of information, and is joined by its friends the mean guy/girl, the worry wart, and the controller. This gang is responsible for half-cocked actions, reactive living, and a lot of the little things that you either end up apologizing for, regretting, or justifying later. Acting with this crew fully engaged results in private and public misunderstandings of varying degrees. If you remember the way Benny Hill broke up the word ASSUME, you get a picture of what I am talking about.
The best way to work with your inner cliff jumper and its assumptive crew is easier than it may seem. A few spot checks can make the difference between a helpful action and a potentially destructive reaction.
1) Resist the urge to spread the news: This is otherwise known as gossip. Everyone loves a good bit of dirt now and then. But, ask yourself this. If what I am saying is disproved, how would it reflect on me? Sometimes this bit of enlightened self-interest can stop the urge to share in its tracks.
2) Decide whether it’s important: Is what you are saying of paramount importance to act on RIGHT NOW? Determining the time-sensitivity of action or reaction. Sometimes, taking a moment to pause, breathe, and determine the right course of action can stop the self-created embarrassing situation from occurring.
3) If it’s important, ask questions: If the matter is important, be sure to get all the facts. Super charged emotion without facts can result in wreckage. You wouldn’t make a big purchase decision without looking at your checking account, would you? Sometimes, the first gut reaction about a person, place, situation, or idea isn’t the full truth.
4) Ask yourself if it’s your situation to act on: Yes, everyone is entitled to their opinion. However, managing and controlling a situation that is not yours to handle can result in conflict.
5) Do a values check: Are you being kind, helpful, and understanding in the action you are taking? “Do unto others” is a good rule of thumb here.
If you are truly well meaning with all parties involved, it is within your scope of responsibility to act, you have as many facts as you can gather, it’s important, and your words and actions are not based on hearsay or assumption, you can act with confidence. At that point, if you are incorrect, you have done your footwork. Sometimes, you’ll look at this list and not decide to act at all.
Have you ever been in a situation where jumping to conclusions has hurt you personally or professionally? Have you ever used any of the tactics above to stop a potential situation before it started? The floor is yours, Carson City.
ABOUT DIANE HANSEN
Diane Hansen is the Chief Inspiration Officer of What Works Coaching, a coaching firm that has helped people worldwide with their businesses, careers, mindsets, and profit margins. She brings to Carson City more than 17 years of experience with a wide array of clients, ranging from top corporations, motivated entrepreneurs and individuals hungry for a fresh start. Her column appears every Monday, and sometimes Tuesday, on Carson Now.
